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15 July 2008 @ 10:58 am
In the "I haven't posted in a while" category, an update:

Just over two weeks ago, my boyfriend's father died of a heart attack. He'd had prior heart problems (bypass years ago and a "minor" heart attack in April) but his death was sudden, unexpected, and unwelcome. I've never before experienced the death of a person with whom I had a relationship and that I loved and I still don't know how to deal with it in many ways. He welcomed me into the family in a way that made me feel comfortable, valued, and accepted (including my many flaws) and I will miss him. No matter how I feel, my grief pales in comparison to R's and I also worry about how to be there for him. R says, "It is hard, but Dad would want me to go on." Which is entirely true.

He had great faith in heaven and predestination and so his family took comfort in hearing that it was God's time for him and that he's in heaven. I don't know exactly what I believe, but I take comfort in knowing that he had faith in something to make his last moments less terrifying.

We've been with R's mother and his family a lot over the last two weeks, but I returned to work last week and have been busily trying to catch up with work before I leave here at the end of August. My last day is August 22nd and my first day at my new job is the 28th, so no vacation. But my new judge has already given me time off to be at a certain wedding in September that I am very much looking forward to, and I'm guaranteed a raise by the federal pay guidelines (I'll be JSP 12).

I have tomatoes growing in my garden (along with some herbs and some flowers). They've been slightly wilty and sad due to our recent long absences. My cats are stressed out and shedding, see recent long absences, and my dog had arthroscopic elbow surgery for bilateral elbow dysplaisa. Her surgery leads to adventures in how to keep an 18 month old lab from bounding, jumping, and wiggling, so that she can recover from surgery. Recommendations and advice welcome.

Trying to get out from under oppressive levels of credit card and student loan debt. Grateful for my relationships and my family. Hopeful for new work opportunities. Working to make my life more rewarding and fulfilling. Wishing life wasn't so hard, but enjoying it most of the time anyway.
termofarttermofart on July 15th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, I am so sorry or your loss.
garou43garou43 on July 16th, 2008 01:58 pm (UTC)
Well, that's no good. I was just thinking the other day that I hadn't lost anyone I really had a connection with other than my grandparents, and I'm not really too sure how well I'd be able to deal with it. At least he had a good idea of what he was headed for...

Yay for tomatoes, though!

IndigoSerenity: winterindigoserenity on July 16th, 2008 02:19 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry for your loss. I have no other words, but you and R are in my thoughts.
Fireflymissfirefly on July 16th, 2008 04:33 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry for your loss. I am at a loss for any other words.

I am glad to hear of your new pay increase and that you will be coming home for the wedding!

Drop me a note or give me a call if you ever need to talk.